This is a picture of how I look after a haircut and bath from my mama. I’m a beautiful golden retriever 🙂 bet you can’t guess my age from this picture!

In the background, you can see my toy box. It used to be my crate but I only used it once for that purpose.

In order to understand my first Halloween, it’s important to understand my daily routine. Mama and daddy took me for daily walks, twice a day — once in the morning and once at night. On our walks, we regularly bumped into our neighbors.

In other words, besides walking, mama and daddy also waved at people driving by in their cars, I got petted by kids on their bikes, and sometimes I got petted by our neighbors when mama and daddy chat with them.

My neighbors knew my name. They remembered mama as P-‘s mom and daddy as P-‘s daddy.  They, however, didn’t know where I lived. This was the way of life for a couple of years.

As time passed, Mama and daddy finally felt comfortable with the neighborhood and decided that they were going to hand out candy for Halloween, which meant that I got to wear a costume.

For my first Halloween, mama got me a lobster costume. Mama also got into the spirit of Halloween and dressed up as a french chef.

Mama and daddy were excited about handing out candy for the first time but they didn’t know how much candy they were going to hand out. So in order to ensure that they had enough candy to last through the night, Mama, who loves rules and made no exceptions, made up a rule where each kid can only get two pieces of candy.

When the kids started arriving, Mama realized that she knew most of them. The kids that we had previously met on the bikes screamed “HEY THIS IS P-‘S HOUSE.” The parents who we waved to as they drove by in their cars said “oh this is where you guys lived. we always wondered where yah lived”

Of course, the highlight of my first Halloween was a little girl with her younger brother. Mama gave the little boy two pieces of candy, one of them was a piece of gum. The younger brother started crying because he wasn’t old enough to chew gum. Mama, however, would have none of that and made no exceptions. Luckily, the older sister told her younger brother than she would trade with him so he would get two pieces of candy and she would get two pieces of gum.

If I was handing out candy, I would have given all the candy to the first kid that petted me.

Mama felt bad for an entire week after that but she still only gave two pieces of candy to each kid and is still a stickler for rules…

Mama loves it when people ask her who cuts my hair.  Mama doesn’t take me to the groomers because she doesn’t trust them — she didn’t want to leave me alone with the groomers but she thought it would be strange if she waited at the groomers with me.  So to solve this dilemma, Mama cuts my hair and she is quite proud of her work.

Mama always cuts my hair short for the summer. When fall arrives, Mama leaves my hair long like a show dog. While daddy loved my haircuts, he doesn’t let mama cut his hair. Instead, daddy goes to a barber. There is, however, one time when daddy cut his own hair.

Daddy used to get his haircuts from a place called <redacted>. One day, the barber was cutting daddy’s hair like a topiary. Literally — the barber was holding the hair trimmer like a hedger and was making passes around daddy’s head like he was trimming a shrub. Daddy, who is usually quiet, told the barber to stop when he noticed that his head looked like a ball.

When Mama saw daddy’s haircut, Mama laughed. Mama tried to make daddy feel better by telling him that his hair would grow out. After a week, daddy’s head still looked like a ball. I tried to make daddy feel better by giving him my favorite toy but that only made it worse. Daddy took the trimmer, which mama uses to cut my hair, and shaved his head bald.

After daddy shaved his head, I didn’t recognize daddy. Instead, I thought that there was a stranger in the house. Mama and daddy didn’t invite people over to the house because they were afraid that i would get sick since I haven’t gotten all my puppy shots. The stranger said, “come here come here” but I was unsure.

I remember thinking, “how did this stranger enter the house without me knowing? I have been doing a good job guarding the front door ” then I realized what must have happened.   That strange dog in the house, who only shows up in the bathroom, must have let him into the house. The bathroom had sliding closet doors, which were mirrored. I enjoyed growling at him. But when he growls back, I run away. I don’t think he is that bright though because if there was only one room that i would show up in, it would be the kitchen. But luckily that dog isn’t that bright otherwise the stranger may have gotten to my food.

The stranger repeated, “come here come here.” The stranger’s voice sounded like daddy but he didn’t look like daddy. I went over cautiously but my tail was wagging. I sniffed him. He smelled like daddy. I gave the stranger a kiss. Luckily, he tasted just like daddy else I wouldn’t know what I would have done — probably would have given him my favorite toy.

Mama had a bright idea — she was going to setup a litter box in the living room so I can potty inside the house. Mama didn’t want me to potty outside because I may get wet when it rains. Daddy, however, was against the idea. He told Mama that a little rain won’t hurt me, annual rain fall is only 3.5 inches, and a inside litter box would smell up the house. Mama, who can be quite stubborn, however, disregarded Daddy’s arguments.

So the next day, Mama and Daddy went to Walmart and purchased a (1) Rubbermaid Under-Bed Storage Box; and (2) a box of kitty litter. Daddy, however, forgot to pick up a lid for the Storage Box, which was included with the purchase price. Daddy probably forgot because the lids were semi-hidden on the shelf and he didn’t think about the lid since the Storage Box was going to be used as a litter box.

When they got home, Daddy placed some newspapers on the floor; put the Storage Box on top of the newspapers; and filled the Storage Box with kitty litter. Mama supervised.

Daddy and Mama then just stared at me. I knew that Daddy and Mama wanted me to do something. Of course, I knew exactly what to do. I am P-, a purebred golden retriever. My grandfather was an AKC champion. Also, I was raised in a house with four cats.

So I felt pretty confident when I walked into the Storage Box and laid on top of the kitty litter. To my surprise, Mama and Daddy didn’t seem to be pleased when I started rolling on top of the kitty litter. I wanted to please Mama and Daddy so I stopped rolling and tried to remember what other things cats do in a litter box.

“ah I remember”

I got out of the Storage Box, kitty litter stuck to my golden fur, grabbed some toys and went back inside the Storage Box. To ensure that I was doing the right thing, I made sure that my entire body, including my tail, was inside the Storage Box.

Unfortunately, that wasn’t what Mama and Daddy wanted either. Mama and Daddy looked sad. They told me to leave the litter box. I got frustrated so I started tearing up the newspapers on the floor, which only made Mama sadder.

Finally, Mama took me outside to potty. Daddy poured the kitty litter back into the container box. Daddy went back to Walmart to return the Storage Box but he was unable to get a refund since he forgot to pick up a lid.

Two years later, the box of kitty litter was still in the garage.  As for the Storage Box, ….

I was born in Rosamond, California. I lived in a ranch-style home. In order to get to my house, you needed to leave the asphalt covered road and drive on a rock-paved road.

Mama and daddy, a bunch of city slickers from Las Vegas, Nevada, were quite intimidated when they left the asphalt covered road. Looking back, the rock-paved road didn’t require four wheel drive. Daddy, however, drove like a snail. Mama and daddy were both originally from the Bay Area and they never been to a city like Rosamond, let alone, drove on anything but a asphalt covered road.

My breeder didn’t have a chance to give me a bath because Mama and daddy arrived early. So she bathed me in the sink. I remember daddy saying how it smelled like wet dog when he got into the house. At the time, Daddy did not have great social manners. Don’t worry though because I will teach them to him.

One of the things that I taught daddy was how to say hello to people. I remember that I had a toy bird, which looked like a wild turkey  When I saw daddy sitting on the floor with my breeder, I dropped it in front of him. Daddy smiled. Daddy then threw the bird and I went to retrieve it. Of course, I didn’t return it right away. Instead, I ran around the couch with the bird in my mouth. I did at least two laps and then I got dizzy. Daddy smiled and laughed out loud.

Mama was a little more quirky and aloof. Mama didn’t really pet me. Instead, she just blew her nose a lot.

I heard Mama and Daddy talking about White Boy. I thought that was strange since White Boy was recently adopted.

Finally, when Mama and Daddy sat down at the dining table to sign the adoption papers, I went over and sat right in front of daddy. Daddy, who had zero experience with dogs, thought I was the smartest dog ever because I knew how to sit. Daddy put the collar around my neck and I just sat there and let him. Mama and Daddy gave me lots of praise about how smart I was simply because I knew how to sit.

My Breeder told Mama and Daddy that I should probably pee before I get into the car. When we exited the house, I ran over to the kennels and said goodbye to Purple Girl.

I told her that I was going on a short trip but I will be back…